The joys and fears of Motherhood

I have 3 girls the oldest is 10 (who thinks she is an adult), my middle is 9 ( my needy loving child) and the youngest is 5 (who thinks she is the boss of everybody).  Being a mother was not something that I had every really thought about becoming. I didn’t dream of one day being a mommy… I was just not one of those girls. I was the girl who said it was never going to happen. Well my mom always told me NEVER say NEVER!  So here I sit looking in to the eyes of almost 35 with three beautiful uniquely different little girls. Never say never right!

Left to right Sara (9), Savannah (10) and Serena (5)
Left to right: Sara (9), Savannah (10) and Serena (5)

Pictured above is my girls….I love being their mom and would not change it for anything in the world. But I wonder sometimes am I messing up my kids..am I really qualified to be their mother! What in the world do I know about preparing them for the world when the time comes. I know what your thinking…these are the fears that every mother has. The question is how do we move past the fear and insecurity and be the best mom we can be. I am here to tell you that you that no matter what anyone tells you …..you  NEVER move pass the fear you just learn to live with them and pray that you are doing the best job that you can.

I have been a mother for 10 years and I still lay in bed at night and wonder should I have said this or done that instead? Did I show them today how important they are to me? These worries and fears we have are normal. We are parents… it our job to  worry. Crazy right! Want to hear the craziest part it will never stop no matter how old they get.

Here is a prime example:

When I was younger my mother use to tell me  “no matter how old you get you will  always be my baby”. This statement always may me laugh because I figured when I became an adult my mother would start to live her carefree  child free  life. WRONG! To this day my mother still worries about me. Don’t get me wrong she lives her life just the way she wants.  But even  though I am no longer a child, have a family of my own and we live over 700 miles away from her… she still worries about me. Turns out I just added to her worry. Because not only does she still worry about me all the time she also worries about my girls. Something to look forward to right!

So here is what I have learned…..to pray everyday for patience, guidance and understanding….Because… I may never know for sure if I am doing everything right, I may never know if my children understand just how much I love them. But I do know that for today I am being the best mother that I know how and that is all any of us can be.

I leave you tonight with this quote I read the other day By Meghan Matt ” Enjoy every single moment. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the inspiring and the not – so – glamorous moments and Thank GOD through it all. ”

Remember All we can do is try our best and pray that it was enough!

;

God Bless~Kathi

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So here we go….

First a little about me….. the title of this blog gives a lot away. I am a Christian woman, a wife, a mother of 3, a daughter, an employee and a friend. Who like most finds herself lost in the endless days of losing her identity. At some point, I am not sure when it started I stopped being Kathi and starting being someones wife, mother, friend, etc. It was like I didn’t have a name anymore.  I allowed certain parts of my life to over take every part of my life. When I became a mother I forgot that I was also a wife, it took years and a few more children to remember this. Around this time I also realized that I stopped being a friend and that I had stopped taking time just for me. So starting today I am  going to take some small part of it back. Now don’t get me wrong I love my life and I have been blessed beyond measure. But at some point you just have to remember to take time for yourself. So that is what I am doing. this blog is a outlit of sorts, a way to express what I am feeling, a way to share some of the things I have discovered over the years and I hope a way to inspire others.  So I hope that you enjoy reading about my crazy unpredictable life! God Bless~Kathi